Don't Grow Up too Fast

Gabrielle,
I have written you a few times about growing up too fast and want to re-visit it once again. You are going through times when your body is starting to grow up but that does not mean that you can't still have fun as a girl rather than a women. Once you are a women you may look back at these times of having fun just being a girl, having sleep overs, playing Polly Pockets and all the other things you are enjoying now.

I also don't want you to feel my illness means you have to skip your pre-teens and miss out on that fun. You do need to start to take more responsibility with your chores, but that is part of growing up. You don't need to worry about if I will get better, I will God is on our side.

Remember no matter what you say or do I will always love you. Do not confuse discipline with love.

Love,

Daddy

Your Greatest Accomplishment

I think I complement you on your accomplishments quite often. I'm so proud of the great grades you receive; your athletic accomplishments; and how well your are doing with dance and singing. You are really blossoming into a talented young lady.

However, you are also developing something that is more important than any of you other accomplishments. I have noticed that you are working on being a person with character. Character is doing what is right no matter the repercussions. Some call it doing what Jesus would do, but you can simplify it by always doing the right thing when no one is looking. It is ethics, responsibility and faith. You are showing development of all these qualities.

The way you are helping Mom during this troubled time is inspiring me. I want to regain my character. I have been a zombie and not much of a dad with all the medication. Hopefully, the surgery will lesson the medication I take, but no matter what I will become a Dad again and be a role model for you by showing constant ethics, faith and kindness to other humans, and always doing the right thing-- no matter who is watching!

But, the reason for this note is to document for histories sake that I'm proud of the personal character that you are showing. It is something that will always serve you and guide you in life.

Remember I love you and no matter how mad you get at me, I will always love you! You may not always believe it, but part of character development is not always doing what you want to do but what needs to be done--and you are showing that you understand that.

You are a wonderful young lady and are doing better in becoming a whole person than I ever expected. There is nothing you can do to cause me to not love you.

It's OK to Enjoy being 10

Gabrielle,

I know that you are quickly becoming a young lady. Likewise, many of your friends are becoming young adults and wearing teenage clothes and doing teenage things. This is fine. Please dabble in the teenage things and figure out what you will like when you are a teenager. That being said you need to relish these pre-teen years. Being a teenager is not a bed of roses. There are many cliques and social pressures that you will not necessarily experience in middle school.

These pressures and social morays will only get stronger and seemingly more important as each year goes on. In the end they are not but you will not realize that until you reach your 20's. The main reason I wanted to write this letter is to tell you to go ahead and be a 10 year old. If you want to play with your Build-a-Bears, go ahead. Do things from your earlier years. You will soon cherish those memories and they are passing soon enough. Fifth graders are stilled allowed to play with stuffed animals or tea sets or Barbies or whatever you please. You are growing up to fast but don't rush it.

Love
Daddy

Friends Forever?

Gabrielle,

Who will be your friends when you are 20? Friends are an important part of life. But, I have found with a few exceptions you will have two or three different cycles of friends by 20. Then you will have different and new friends as your life changes. You, especially YOU, will always have friends. In fact, the more different friends you have the more interesting things you will experience.

I know you don't believe me now but it will. Remember, no matter how big of a fit you throw I will love you unconditionally.

Love,
Dad

The importance of Now

Gabrielle,
I know that at 10, your future is what you want to do next weekend. That is the way it is when you are a kid. So when I don't let you do something that would really be fun you will hate me... For a couple days.

In the next couple years you will start planning ahead a little more and when you are not allowed to do something you will hate me for a couple of weeks. And this geometric progression will continue and finally peak at 18.

Don't tell me this won't happen because it will and it is starting now. Just remember I'm planning your calendar too. While you are planning blocks of weekends at the most I'm planning blocks of years so you will not make the mistakes I did. You will have time to make your own mistakes and learn from them.

I love you unconditionally so you will never be able to throw a big enough fit to change that. The ultimate payback for me is around 25 we will be friends again and will from that point on. It will be a lifetime for you but a couple election cycles for me.

Love,
Dad